What to do in the first two weeks

The hardest part of getting engaged is not the work. It is that a thousand decisions are suddenly in front of you and none of them is obviously first. Here is the order that works, with the reasons spelled out so you are not following it blindly.

1. Settle the rough guest count

Before the date, before the venue, settle the guest count — even loosely. Under fifty, fifty to a hundred and twenty, or over a hundred and twenty changes which venues exist, what the caterer prices off, and how the whole day is shaped. You do not need a final list; you need a number that is roughly right. It is the single number every other quantity hangs off.

2. Agree the budget, before any booking

Agree what you and your partner are comfortable spending and who puts in what, before any deposit. This is the number every decision is tested against. It does not need to be final — it needs to exist so you can say yes and no without regret. This site's budget worksheet starts from your number and never suggests one.

3. Choose the date

Pick a date that works for the venue you want and the few people who are not optional. Check those people before it is fixed. Everything downstream — the venue, every vendor, every paper task — is measured from this one number, and it is why the schedule here can give you real calendar dates.

4. Tell the people who need to know first

Call the immediate family and the closest friends before any public announcement, so nobody important hears it second-hand. It is a short task that saves a month of hurt feelings and repeated explanations.

What not to do yet

Do not book anything, do not send anything to print, and do not build a registry. Do not compare your plan to a twelve-month template. The two weeks after the proposal are for the four things above; the schedule generator on the home page will place every real task once your date and numbers exist.